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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

27/6/2012, Wednesday 11.23 p.m

This is my 2nd day creating my blog. Once again, I am in Kampar for my further study for my journalism degree. A paper sheet with 2 questions and some sub questions, graph paper, test pad, long ruler, calculator.... Oh! Today is my very 1st time I facing my midterm examination. As you read few moments ago yeah. I am doing my mathematics for social science examination. Eventhough is an hour exam with 2 questions, but then these questions could take my breath away due to stress in answering questions. When I am taking my test, it reminds me about the past when I take my SPM. Talking big to my parents saying that I could take straight A's in my SPM and make them proud. But then I could not achieve what I want. Shed myself with tears when I got an A for any SPM results from day to night. But then as usual, for parents to cheer up their children when they are down telling their kids that 'Its ok what results you got for me, I am still proud of you.' I am touched with those moments when my mum talked to me through my dad's phone.

In school, something always make me confuse. Really confuse. Hopefully I was dreaming but it was not. Its reality. Once again, I felt lost and feeling left behind. My friends talking in chinese and I just kept quiet and listen what they are talking about. They are laughing away with joy but then I don't know what are they laughing about. Looks like communication in chinese in socializing really dragging me down. Haiz, I also don't know what to do either. My negative thoughts keep on making me confuse. Telling myself he is not avoiding me but then they fought back saying that he is avoiding you because he felt that I am annoying. After the yesterday incident, I should appreciate his concern accompany me back home instead of asking him to go back. I am really stupid. I shouldn't take action in the 1st place. I shouldn't tell him off. I really hope that we could be last time as usual, Talking about our school life and what we normally always does in Kampar. If now I do have to chance to confront him, I hope that he could understand what am I trying to tell him and hope that he could give me another one last chance to appreciate him as my brother. Because I believe that he is a great guy. Honestly. I felt regrated what I did when he started to avoid me and less talking to me. Haiz, hopefully there is something good going to happen between us. =(

Written at
9:00 AM

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

26/6/2012, Tuesday 10.45 p.m

Its been awhile I didn't post anything in this blog. Yeah, I guess is around couple of years? Hahaha! This would be my 1st time staying outstation away from my family. And now I am all by myself. Today, is my 1st time celebrating my friend's birthday here, Kampar. I having fun joking around with her gang, taking pictures,  going wild in the hostel and many more. When I am on my way back home, I take a look at the moon. It was half round of the moon. I wish that I could look at the moon longer. Because it reminds me about the past and memories that I should not remember off. Those memories will make my heart pain and going to shed myself with tears. There is the time where we promised that we will look at the round moon together. But then  it does not happen. The promise has been broken into pieces and never be attached together again.  Eventhough is hard to accept the fact that we had to broke up, but then I have too and officially accept the fact because there are my friends and family in kl, here and someone that I wish to walk with. I did confessed to that person but too bad I failed. And I decided to try again. I remember one of my best buddy advised me. 'Wait for the time to come. It will come naturally.' I agree and follow what she said. But then I don't know whether is it going to work or not. Because after I realizing something, I have no confident towards myself. I felt myself so stupid doing this. Don't know why I could have guts to do such thing! Why! And I just did something really stupid! Wong Poe Kay! YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!! Urgh!!!!! =(

Written at
8:10 AM

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Wong Poe Kay
14 years old
S.M.K Taman Bukit Maluri
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