¶Wednesday, June 27, 2012¶
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27/6/2012, Wednesday 11.23 p.m
This is my 2nd day creating my blog. Once again, I am in Kampar for my further study for my journalism degree. A paper sheet with 2 questions and some sub questions, graph paper, test pad, long ruler, calculator.... Oh! Today is my very 1st time I facing my midterm examination. As you read few moments ago yeah. I am doing my mathematics for social science examination. Eventhough is an hour exam with 2 questions, but then these questions could take my breath away due to stress in answering questions. When I am taking my test, it reminds me about the past when I take my SPM. Talking big to my parents saying that I could take straight A's in my SPM and make them proud. But then I could not achieve what I want. Shed myself with tears when I got an A for any SPM results from day to night. But then as usual, for parents to cheer up their children when they are down telling their kids that 'Its ok what results you got for me, I am still proud of you.' I am touched with those moments when my mum talked to me through my dad's phone.
In school, something always make me confuse. Really confuse. Hopefully I was dreaming but it was not. Its reality. Once again, I felt lost and feeling left behind. My friends talking in chinese and I just kept quiet and listen what they are talking about. They are laughing away with joy but then I don't know what are they laughing about. Looks like communication in chinese in socializing really dragging me down. Haiz, I also don't know what to do either. My negative thoughts keep on making me confuse. Telling myself he is not avoiding me but then they fought back saying that he is avoiding you because he felt that I am annoying. After the yesterday incident, I should appreciate his concern accompany me back home instead of asking him to go back. I am really stupid. I shouldn't take action in the 1st place. I shouldn't tell him off. I really hope that we could be last time as usual, Talking about our school life and what we normally always does in Kampar. If now I do have to chance to confront him, I hope that he could understand what am I trying to tell him and hope that he could give me another one last chance to appreciate him as my brother. Because I believe that he is a great guy. Honestly. I felt regrated what I did when he started to avoid me and less talking to me. Haiz, hopefully there is something good going to happen between us. =(